I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
