Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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