I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
