note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
