apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
