I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
