so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
