dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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