So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
These tits shall not be calmed
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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