No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
