I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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