Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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