he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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