Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
