I'm drive I can fine osifer
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
