At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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