yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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