omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
