It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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