Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
