i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
