I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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