ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
