please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
