Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
