I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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