you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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