Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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