This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
