I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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