try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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