Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
