i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
