Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
