FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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