i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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