and you said cock pushups were impossible
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
