You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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