I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
