do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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