we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
