The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
