someone get that fucking seahorse.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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