She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
