Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
