Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
