I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize