do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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