just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
