lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
