I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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