I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
