Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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