What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
