I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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