This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
