I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
