i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
