Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
