Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
