I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
