Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
