We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
