Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
