She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
