May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
