why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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